Can I Help My Aging Mother When She Updates Her Will?

In most jurisdictions, yes, you can accompany your elderly mother to her attorney’s office when she’s discussing her will. This is often helpful for ensuring clarity and providing support.

However, there’s a crucial distinction: While you can be present, the attorney’s primary duty is to represent your mother and act solely in her best interests. They will need to confirm that she is making decisions voluntarily and with a clear understanding of the implications, free from any undue influence. This means the attorney may, at some point, want to speak with your mother alone to ensure her wishes are truly her own.

Key considerations for accompanying your mother:

• Your Mother’s Capacity: The attorney will assess your mother’s mental capacity to make legal decisions. Your presence can help provide context, but the ultimate determination rests with the legal professional.
• Undue Influence: Attorneys are trained to identify signs of undue influence, where one person might be pressuring another to make decisions against their true wishes. They will be vigilant about ensuring your mother’s decisions are her own.
• Confidentiality: The conversations between your mother and her attorney are privileged. While you may be present, the attorney’s ethical obligations are solely to your mother.
• Role as Representative: Your role is to support your mother, not to direct the legal process or influence her decisions regarding her will.

It’s always best to discuss your planned involvement with your mother and the attorney beforehand to ensure everyone is on the same page. This proactive communication can help streamline the process and address any potential concerns.