Takeaways
- A significant number of adult children are currently or expect to provide financial support to their aging parents, often leading to financial strain and debt for the adult children despite their strong sense of responsibility.
- Open and early communication between older adults and their adult children about potential financial needs is crucial for proactive planning, stress reduction, and maintaining family trust.
A recent report by LendingTree revealed that nearly half of Americans are either financially supporting their aging parents or expect to do so. Though many younger adults feel a deep sense of duty to step in when needed, this responsibility often comes with significant financial strain and emotional stress. For older adults, this raises an important question: How can you prepare your family for the possibility that you may need financial help later in life?
The Report’s Key Findings
The LendingTree report found that 23 percent of Americans are currently providing financial support to their parents, their partner’s parents, or both. Another 23 percent of Americans surveyed said they expect to provide financial support. According to the survey, groceries were the most commonly covered expense, at 69 percent, followed by personal expenses (49 percent), housing (44 percent), utilities (43 percent), and medical costs (42 percent).
Though helping aging parents comes with a financial and emotional cost, 84 percent of those surveyed said they felt it was their responsibility to provide the help.
How Adult Children Feel the Strain
Supporting aging parents is rarely just about covering bills. Many adult children are already juggling mortgages, child care costs, student loans, and their own retirement savings. This may be in addition to providing some level of caregiving for their elderly parents. When they suddenly need to help cover a parent’s medical expenses, housing, or daily living costs, it can throw off their entire financial plan. Beyond the money, the emotional toll of worrying about a parent’s well-being adds another layer of stress.
The LendingTree study found that over half (58 percent) of the adults surveyed incurred debt while giving financial support to aging parents. Fifty-three percent have taken on $5,000 or more, with 13 percent saying they have incurred $25,000 or more.
Taking on debt isn’t the only issue. Seventy-four percent of respondents said that providing financial support for elderly parents is preventing them from achieving important financial goals, such as paying off debt and building an emergency fund. In addition, adult children who are providing caregiving services to parents or other family members often must reduce the number of hours they work or leave the workforce entirely to provide those services. The survey found that 38 percent of adults are in this position.
Why Older Adults Hesitate to Discuss Financial Shortcomings
Parents often stay silent about financial troubles out of pride, fear of burdening their children, or simply because money is a difficult subject to bring up. Unfortunately, avoiding the conversation can lead to emergencies where adult children must step in without warning, creating more stress for everyone involved.
Opening the Conversation With Your Children
If you anticipate having trouble affording basic expenses in your later years, making this known sooner rather than later can help prevent crises. Here are a few ways to start:
- Be honest about your concerns. Begin by sharing your worries about specific expenses, such as housing, medical bills, or daily living costs. Framing the discussion around your desire to plan ahead, rather than asking for immediate help, can make the conversation easier.
- Review your finances together. If you feel comfortable, share an overview of your income, savings, and expenses. Adult children may be able to suggest options you haven’t considered, such as downsizing, applying for benefits, or adjusting your budget.
- Explore assistance programs. Many older adults qualify for government programs that can help cover food, utilities, health care, or long-term care costs. Looking into these options before leaning on family can ease the financial burden on everyone.
- Discuss expectations and boundaries. If your children want to help, talk through what that support might look like and what limits they need to set to protect their own financial stability. Having clarity can help reduce resentment and misunderstandings later.
- Consider professional guidance. A financial advisor or elder law attorney can help you and your family explore options such as long-term care insurance, Medicaid planning, or estate planning strategies. Sometimes hearing advice from a professional can make the conversation less emotional.
Why These Conversations Matter
Being proactive doesn’t just ease financial stress, it also strengthens family trust. When adult children know what to expect, they can prepare, rather than scramble during a crisis. And when older adults are honest, they help their loved ones feel included and respected in planning for the future.
Growing older brings challenges, but it doesn’t have to mean being silent about those challenges. By starting conversations now, families can work together to find solutions that protect the well-being of both generations.
Learn More
For additional reading on topics related to late-life financial planning and long-term care, check out the following articles:
- Requiring Adult Children to Pay for Aging Parents' Care
- 8 Tips for Having ‘The Talk’ with Elderly Parents
- Are Children Responsible for Parents’ Nursing Home Bills?
- Discussing Long-Term Care With Older Adults in Your Life
- Inheritance Conversations With Your Adult Child
- Medicare’s Coverage of Mental Health Services
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