NEW! Chambliss Law Firm Monthly Editorial

The Toilet Paper Incident of 2009
by Amy Boulware, Elder Care Planning Manager, (LAP MSW)

It will forever go down in our family history as “The Toilet Paper Incident of 2009.” Let me explain. In 2009 my 67-year-old mother was battling her second bout with cancer, and she was in the hospital for surgery to remove a lobe of her lung while at the same time my 94-year-old grandmother was in the same hospital two floors up being treated for complications from an infection. I had it covered. After all, I was a trained geriatric social worker who knew how to coordinate care, advocate, and could speak the “doctor talk” with the best of them. I had been working in the field of geriatrics for over 18 years and had guided many families through the minefield of hospitalization and illness. But it was my family this time… [click to read full story]

So, my advice from the story is - 

1. Accept help from others. Often caregivers think they are the only ones who can do the job. Sometimes accepting that someone else can do the job even if it isn’t exactly like you would do it is the best thing a caregiver can do.
2. Focus on what you can provide and outsource the rest. I guess nobody in my family ever realized how the supply of toilet paper ended up in the house. After the toilet paper incident happened, I have not bought a single package of toilet paper at our house. My husband makes sure to buy toilet paper every time he goes to the store.  
3. Set realistic goals. Maybe it wasn’t realistic for me to try and work full time, sleep at the hospital every night, and try to help my kids with homework.
4. Seek support. Get connected with support groups or people who are going through similar things. There is nothing like being with someone who understands exactly what you are going through and has some tidbit of information that might really help you.
5. Set personal health goals. Eating, sleeping, and exercising help you be a better caregiver. Often caregivers fall apart before the person they are caring for because they don’t take care of themselves.
6. Allow yourself downtime. Guilt is a terrible thing and can often be counterproductive for family caregivers. We must allow ourselves the kindness that we give to others. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t perfect, nobody is.
7. Eating ice cream out of the container can be really good!