Chambliss Law Firm Monthly Editorial
Alzheimer's: The Thief Who Stole My Wife and Made Me a Stranger
by Amy Boulware, Elder Care Planning Manager, (LAP MSW)
Sam approached me with tears in his eyes. He quietly said, “I need your advice.” His voice cracked with emotion, and those tears were on the verge of overflowing. I have known Sam for 15 years and have never seen him cry. He normally has a booming voice, shows a bright smile, and commands attention with his large stature. When he enters a room, people know he means business. However on this day, he didn’t have that same look. [click to read full story]
So, I gave Sam these 10 Steps to Take after a Loved One's Alzheimer's Diagnosis:
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Admit to yourself that you are coping with a significant adjustment, and be patient as you get used to a new normal.
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Don't beat yourself up for agreeing to get care outside of the home. You were advised by professionals that this was the right thing to do, and this does not make you a bad person. Your loved one is safe and will be cared for by trained professionals who understand the disease process.
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Talk about your feelings to people you trust, but realize that not everyone will understand your grief.
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Find a support group of other caregivers who are facing similar obstacles.
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Take care of yourself. Often caregivers fall apart before the person they are caring for. Eat, Exercise, and Sleep!
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Remain active with your family and friends; going out with others does not mean that you are abandoning your loved one. He/she would want you to enjoy yourself.
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Create a "Knowing Ann" book for all caregivers to read. Some things to include would be favorite things, preferences, and anything you think will help your loved one feel comfortable in the new environment.
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Plan your visits. Make sure your expectations are realistic. Don't feel like you have to stay all day long. Short pop-in visits are okay.
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Understand that some days will be better than others. Be happy and embrace the good moments. They will give you strength to weather the bad times.
- Contact your area Alzheimer's Association.