We have heard some of these stories too, but the fact is most trusts do work well. In some ways, your question is complicated and depends at least in part on the purpose of the trust. If it is simply to manage your assets for you and your husband during your lives, it may be sufficient to simply name your son, perhaps with a back-up professional trustee, such as a local bank. If it is for tax and asset protection for your son, you will definitely need an outside professional trustee.
But in other ways the answer is simple. Do the best you can now in picking a trustee but also make sure there is a mechanism in the trust that permits you and your husband to change trustees while you're alive and for your son to do so after you have both passed away or are no longer competent. We can’t control what happens in the future, but we can build in ways to respond to what comes our way. To find an attorney to help you set up a trust, go here: https://www.elderlawanswers.com/elder-law-attorneys.
For more information about how to choose a trustee, click here.