Based on what you report, we can guess what company you’re talking about. We are aware of several people who have had to experience the run-around you describe. When they hired a law firm, the firm initially experienced the same gauntlet of confusion and lost records. Ultimately, once the law firm threatened litigation, the company paid the clients. In fact, the company reimbursed the clients for the law firm's fees as well.
This means that you probably should hire an attorney when the time comes. To find an attorney near you, go here: http://www.elderlawanswers.com/elder-law-attorneys. Unfortunately, that does not guarantee any result. The company may or may not be solvent when and if you or your spouse needs to file. Depending on your health and how much you are paying in premiums, you might want to shop around for a new policy. A local insurance agent who specializes in long-term care insurance should be able to advise you.