What If I Can't Care for Mom and She Refuses a Facility?

When you’ve exhausted your own ability to care for a parent physically and financially, your first step may be to seek elder services in your community to receive in-home care or support. Search online for senior services in your area. There are other options beyond nursing home care in a facility, depending on your mother’s financial situation.  

Cognitive decline down the road may also become an issue. Ask your parent about selecting a power of attorney for making financial and medical decisions if they are unable to do so themselves. Without it, you will need to seek guardianship or conservatorship in court. In a medical emergency, this can be very overwhelming, costly, and time-consuming. 

Applying for Medicaid to Cover Long-Term Care Expenses 

If costs for health care services are a factor, you may want to discuss finances and the need for Medicaid to cover health care services at home. You will need to get on a waiting list for a Medicaid in-home waiver.  

Contact a Local Elder Law Attorney 

For help applying for a Medicaid in-home care waiver, contact an elder law attorney in your area who understands your state laws and processes. The wait could be over a year, and you need to get started quickly with a professional who can fill out the forms correctly to save time. 

These conversations are difficult for adult children and their parents, so read more about how to approach the conversation and 14 essential questions you can ask.

Harry S. Margolis practices elder law, estate, and special needs planning in Boston and Wellesley, Massachusetts. He is the founder of ElderLawAnswers.com and answers consumer questions about estate planning issues here and at AskHarry.info.